Crying in the Car
Last weekend I was driving down I-95 from Bath, Maine. It was raining, the leafless trees on the side of the road ghostly skeletons reaching up into the damp evening sky. One of my headlights was out and the white and yellow lines of the freeway disappeared beneath the oily layer of fallen raindrops.
I was crying. Or trying not to. Sniffling and swallowing, wiping away the welling saltiness beneath tired lids. I wanted to weep, but I would have had to pull over and I wanted to get home. I was crying and trying not to cry because the woman on the radio was singing a medley on Prairie Home Companion. A medley ending with "America the Beautiful!" for gods sake! A medley of patriotic songs that during my last decade would have made me feel angry instead of proud, and here I was crying with relief, with a new hope, a renewed sense of country that I haven't felt in so long. I do not consider myself a patriotic person; you would never catch me wearing the stars and stripes on my lapel. I know I should be grateful for living in this country for many reasons, but during most of my political lifetime I have not been excited about claiming my US status because of the man in the White House.
Now I am not totally terrified and appalled by the mention of the 'president.' I just hope that I can continue to cry and try not to cry from that sense of hope and pride for the next eight years.
I was crying. Or trying not to. Sniffling and swallowing, wiping away the welling saltiness beneath tired lids. I wanted to weep, but I would have had to pull over and I wanted to get home. I was crying and trying not to cry because the woman on the radio was singing a medley on Prairie Home Companion. A medley ending with "America the Beautiful!" for gods sake! A medley of patriotic songs that during my last decade would have made me feel angry instead of proud, and here I was crying with relief, with a new hope, a renewed sense of country that I haven't felt in so long. I do not consider myself a patriotic person; you would never catch me wearing the stars and stripes on my lapel. I know I should be grateful for living in this country for many reasons, but during most of my political lifetime I have not been excited about claiming my US status because of the man in the White House.
Now I am not totally terrified and appalled by the mention of the 'president.' I just hope that I can continue to cry and try not to cry from that sense of hope and pride for the next eight years.
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