Walking into the woods

Grab and twist.
The shadows behind the trees deepen beneath the canopy.
Knee to the groin.
A rustling in the bushes up the hill make me turn and strain my eyes as I search for person or animal.
Fingers in the eyeballs.
The trail descends into the valley.
Make yourself look big and yell as loud as you can.
I stumble over a root and my heart starts racing.

Hiking by myself in the woods has always infused fear and joy, usually in that order, into every nerve of my boot clad body.

The fear: thieves, rapists, mountain lions, cliffs from which to tumble. I'm not sure if the fear is an ancient or modern one. I'm sure my cavewoman progenitors were wary of wandering through the forest full of saber tooth tigers and mastodons looking for a slightly less furbally meal than their caveman partners.
"I'm just going to take a break from inventing this wheel to get a breath of fresh air," she tells him. "OK my little drumstick," he replies, "just make sure you keep an eye out for our crazy neighbor with the club. He's been hiding behind rocks lately and doesn't care if he hits you or that sloth that's been hanging around. Actually, mind that sloth too- he's got some fierce claws!" And so the fear of men and animals in the deep dark woods commenced.

These days in the more urban hiking areas the animals take a backseat to the fear of loonies waiting to jump out of trees to do harm to solo hikers.
Yes, it happens.
Yes, it can be dangerous to be by yourself.
Yes, you're probably safer at home. Or not? The frequency of attacks by man or beast in the woods is probably far less than the chance of an incident in one's urban neighborhood. I've (unfortunately) been physically assaulted numerous times in cities around the world but have never had a close call in the woods (knock on (red)wood that trend continues but without further assaults please). Unless of course I count the time I almost fell off a glacier into an icy river while hiking by myself in Nepal. I guess that's the third type of fear that grabbing and twisting won't help- injuring yourself deep in the wilderness. Yet again I counter that it is far better to go out and explore and risk than to stay safe in one's comfort zone because:

a) you're going to die somehow somewhere at sometime
b) every day you're risking something so you might as well have fun
c) you could find absolute JOY!

Let's expand on answer c:
So the first few minutes I'm in the woods my thoughts are occupied with escape from man/beast tactics.
Then I start thinking of money (how will I get it?) and jobs (I don't have one!) and insecurities (these pants feel tight!) or my To Do list (make money, get a job, exercise) and my anxiety rises.

Then I notice the crunching of twigs under my feet and the sunlight-dappled path in front of me. I look up into the green leafed canopy, at the huge sequoias soaring through cool mountain air. Birds and squirrels play tag on red hued branches squiggly and slender against cloud speckled sky. I can feel a smile spiraling up through my body replacing the fear and anxiety with a tingling awareness of everything around me. Those thoughts I carried from the car from the city from that damn TV molt off like papery snakeskin and dissolve in the dirt beneath my feet. My mind clears and as anxious thoughts come up I am able to mentally toss them into the ravine.
I could walk for hours, days, months I think.
Today, though, I only have one hour.

So I take it in and breathe and walk in worn-heeled boots.

In the forest with its birds and beasts and crazy people and bikers and fellow walkers and cliffs aplenty, I (remember I) am brave and I am free.
We have choices and today I chose to ignore that nagging fear and park on the roadside and get out of the car and walk into the woods.

My car waits at the trail head and I take the whispering of the trees and whooshing of grass and the smell of pine with me down the hill and back to this life full of expectations and anxieties that I think are real.
How can an idea or fear be more real than a sequoia?
It depends on what you chose to see as real.

I'll take the trees.