Writing Exercise

So I'm in school. For writing.
And I'm noticing that anytime the instructor mentions a writing exercise, my jaw tenses, my breathing quickens, my mind goes blank. I think of excuses to get out of writing. I think of the reasons this assignment will be so difficult. I procrastinate and over-analyze and sabotage. I think about switching mid-week to the photography track.
Then I start writing. Maybe a bit hesitantly at first, but then I start breathing, relax my jaw, and let my mind converse with the keyboard.
I write.
And I wonder why I got myself worked up into a state. I mean, I've been writing on my own for years. I've written articles that have been published in actual magazines. And I signed up for this intensive writing course. Of course there is writing involved! And I like writing! And I am very capable of writing whatever comes my way. What's gotten into me?
School.
I'm finding it interesting that the introduction of an institution into my everyday habit of scribbling has the power to turn it into a source of anxiety. That the fear of doing a "bad job" in front of my classmates on a simple journalism exercise seems to weigh more than an editor's rejection of a polished article.
Until I remind myself: I like writing! I am here to learn, not impress. I am here to occasionally fail to eventually succeed.
Just like my anxiety about my first day of school, it takes some time to get used to being in classes again. Only this time I'm 30 and thankful that I'm catching myself in old limiting habits this first week instead of during finals. I kind of feel like a self help book here, but I guess that's the difference between school at 18 and school at 30... I now know that I don't know everything and a little help, self or not, is not a bad thing.