What is acceptable in Florida
Carl Hiaassen, author and journalist, has already brought attention to the fact that in Florida more than anywhere else perhaps on the planet, truth is stranger than fiction. I actually haven't read any of his novels because generally I don't like thinking of Florida too much. But I've heard they are great. Maybe I'll read one when we get underway.
But for now, I get to witness the weirdness everyday.
Among the recent observations:
I could be 94 and wearing a trash bag as a dress but as long as I am apparently female, some guy in a over sized white truck with gleaming chrome will slow down, yell or whistle out the window, honk repeatedly, or all of the above. When I was 12 I thought this behavior was awesome and complimentary. Now I just get confused.
Women over 50 wearing tiny tight skirts, fishnets, and far too much makeup. For a night at the movies. I know Avatar might be a big deal, but its not that big of a deal. Of course I wouldn't know because when I went to buy tickets on Saturday night at City Place and it was sold out, I realized there is nothing else to do in West Palm but go to the open air mall and pay too much for dinner and a movie or go to Clematis and drink too much rum with kids and cougars. I'm at the age where I'm not sure where I fall in the spectrum.
I didn't see a movie that night.
I came out of the dressing room at Anthropologie ((!!!)Anthropologie and Trader Joes are the only chains I actually get excited about. go figure) and I see across the overpriced furniture and a rack of castoff blouses- a gaggle of older women. One tall woman had something peculiar going on with her face. Now I have horrible vision that deteriorates exponentially each year and normally I can barely read the freeway signs at night let alone see facial features across a large room without my glasses. But I could see the dark bruises in odd patterns around this woman's lips and couldn't help but staring. She was trying on a floral top and all of her friends were telling her how fabulous she looked. It was almost as if the Botox or plastic surgery bruises were part of her fashion statement. I guess good for her for admitting to her modifications, but I am mildly appalled at the unapologetic brazenness (not a bandaid in sight!) and would rather her stay in a dark room with heavy bandages covering her surgically enhanced visage until the black and blue disappear and she is ready to show her frozen in time face to the world. Call me old fashioned.
Florida is the south.
Vacant lots with grass growing among the bud light bottles somehow look even trashier here than in say San Diego or even New York.
I figure I should say something nice about Florida too because you know what, it's really not too bad. I can see why people retire here. Its 75 degrees and breezy on this February 8th. The beach is nearby and the water is pretty warm, even if it is the shark attack capital of the world. (I hate to perpetuate our misguided fear of sharks- they are endangered and as the top predators, we are going to be in trouble when they are gone. But they still have teeth and apparently like raw retiree or kite surfer sashimi) This is what the women who cut my hair told me. She is a native Floridian. One of the few. She loves it. See, lots of people of all ages love south Florida. And it does have a fun semi-wild west vibe to it. Florida does its own thing. Kinda like California but in a Long Island edgy way. I can respect that.
Stay tuned to learn more about this interesting little town.
But for now, I get to witness the weirdness everyday.
Among the recent observations:
I could be 94 and wearing a trash bag as a dress but as long as I am apparently female, some guy in a over sized white truck with gleaming chrome will slow down, yell or whistle out the window, honk repeatedly, or all of the above. When I was 12 I thought this behavior was awesome and complimentary. Now I just get confused.
Women over 50 wearing tiny tight skirts, fishnets, and far too much makeup. For a night at the movies. I know Avatar might be a big deal, but its not that big of a deal. Of course I wouldn't know because when I went to buy tickets on Saturday night at City Place and it was sold out, I realized there is nothing else to do in West Palm but go to the open air mall and pay too much for dinner and a movie or go to Clematis and drink too much rum with kids and cougars. I'm at the age where I'm not sure where I fall in the spectrum.
I didn't see a movie that night.
I came out of the dressing room at Anthropologie ((!!!)Anthropologie and Trader Joes are the only chains I actually get excited about. go figure) and I see across the overpriced furniture and a rack of castoff blouses- a gaggle of older women. One tall woman had something peculiar going on with her face. Now I have horrible vision that deteriorates exponentially each year and normally I can barely read the freeway signs at night let alone see facial features across a large room without my glasses. But I could see the dark bruises in odd patterns around this woman's lips and couldn't help but staring. She was trying on a floral top and all of her friends were telling her how fabulous she looked. It was almost as if the Botox or plastic surgery bruises were part of her fashion statement. I guess good for her for admitting to her modifications, but I am mildly appalled at the unapologetic brazenness (not a bandaid in sight!) and would rather her stay in a dark room with heavy bandages covering her surgically enhanced visage until the black and blue disappear and she is ready to show her frozen in time face to the world. Call me old fashioned.
Florida is the south.
Vacant lots with grass growing among the bud light bottles somehow look even trashier here than in say San Diego or even New York.
I figure I should say something nice about Florida too because you know what, it's really not too bad. I can see why people retire here. Its 75 degrees and breezy on this February 8th. The beach is nearby and the water is pretty warm, even if it is the shark attack capital of the world. (I hate to perpetuate our misguided fear of sharks- they are endangered and as the top predators, we are going to be in trouble when they are gone. But they still have teeth and apparently like raw retiree or kite surfer sashimi) This is what the women who cut my hair told me. She is a native Floridian. One of the few. She loves it. See, lots of people of all ages love south Florida. And it does have a fun semi-wild west vibe to it. Florida does its own thing. Kinda like California but in a Long Island edgy way. I can respect that.
Stay tuned to learn more about this interesting little town.
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