My mind mimics the sea

Day six.
The waves are less confused, the wind subsides to almost nothing. We drift and creak along below pinpricks of light, rocket launches, the waxing moon directly overhead as we silently scoop spoonfuls of wine drowned chicken pot pie with half baked biscuits past windburned lips. We signed up for the delivery knowing that the chop outside of Savannah harbor may not be forgiving, may toss and flounce us on shallow hips of waves, spray us with cold salty wind. Day one and two we wondered why we take pleasure in sailing. How is it possible when I have vomit in my eye-blinding strands of hair, on my woolen sleeve, in my nostrils trying to hold it as I ran up the companionway with a plate full of sausage spinach and pasta lunch (ambitious? Stupid!) for my crew-mate and a mouth full of bile. Over to the rail I don't quite make it but my companion consoles me with a Dramamine slur, "Aww its ok. The lines have seen much worse than that!" I apologize and promise to wash down the deck and running rigging I have fouled. In the meantime though I hang on to the lifelines, draped over the winch drum, my face pale, my freckles standing out in relief.

The thoughts in my head follow the same tumultuous trajectory and I long for them to spew into the deep blue froth instead of churning within. Days and casseroles later my thoughts my body even out with the following sea. The dolphins leaping and whales breaching and the sun on my face and the stars surrounding my watery environs and the amiable chatter about politics and careers and life and the wonder of being at sea claim my days and soft evenings. We are on a rhumb line for the islands and I imagine myself without thoughts, diving into the water. I want this thinking to disappear but with every nautical mile under the keel, with every sapphire wave pushing us towards land, my mind calms and I know that all I can do is Be. Thoughts and actions to take on land don't matter don't come into play when you are 500 miles from where you are destined to be and even further from whence you came.

I eat, I sleep, I stare at the sea.
I think of love and desire, goals and accomplishments. A tropical bird with a long tail appears overhead. Hundreds of miles out to sea he floats on the air currents above our sails.
All he has to make sure of is that he continues to fly.

I try to learn and do the same.